By CreativeWings, 2 July, 2012

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. – Winston Churchill

I was watching a new show, and one of the characters said, “The easy stuff is easy, it’s the difficult stuff that is … well, difficult.” Made me laugh out loud, and then made me think.
Everyone goes through difficult times in his or her lives, and each of us finds our own way to deal with it.
For me, it has been very helpful to let go of my delusional belief that I alone can control the outcome of the difficulty.

I can gather information, I can do whatever I am able to do to help out, I can listen and respond with love, and I can try to find the opportunity in the situation, but what I can’t do is bend it to my will.
There are still times when I forget this – many, many times. Thankfully, I have an amazing coach that brings it to my attention.

Difficult stuff is just that, difficult. However, there are big opportunities for learning in them.

Let go

By CreativeWings, 21 May, 2012

“The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation — or a relationship.” – Deborah Tannen

When was the last time you really looked at the relationships in your life? Do any of them suffer because you believe that there is only one correct way for them to be?

How much stronger could they be if you began to let go of your need to control what you think they should be?

Oh sure, I know you are saying, “I don’t do that… I don’t know what you’re talking about”, but take a couple minutes to think about it.

When was the last time you were disappointed in what a sibling did or said to you? How much of that was a judgment about what you believe they should have said or done. Or if that doesn’t sound familiar, when was the last time you finished a phone call with a friend, frustrated that they didn’t respond the way that you thought they should have? When was the last time that a relationship failed to live up to your vision of how it should be?

So often we go into the interactions with the people in our lives already knowing what we want to say and what we want the outcome to be -they are predictable. Frequently, that’s what we are looking for, the same old same. It takes effort to be invested in listening or in accepting another way of looking at something.

What if today, you begin the process of letting go of your need to control?